I feel shit. I'm tired I'm shaky. I have palpitations. I feel like a weak pathetic dick head. I'm isolating myself - cancelling on things I enjoy, making myself look unreliable and lazy.
It's the spiral! I know it and I'm still giving in to it! Why???
You feel bad so you don't go out, then you feel silly and guilty and lonely. You wonder what people will think or say about you, you feel paranoid and less inclined to go out next time.
The less you do of the fun things the worse you feel and the less energy and motivation you have. Fucks sake!!
I'm not going out but what I am going to do is unfuck my flat. I want it cleaner. Tidier. More peaceful.
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