So close

This morning Mr got me out of bed at 6am (as I had instructed him). He gave coffee and i shambled onto the sofa. However, when he left at 7am and i tried to rouse myself to shower - instead I slumped and fell back to sleep for two hours. Huh.

Now its up to me. How the day goes is in my hands.

Update 12.30pm. I got off the sofa, showered, dressed and even put on makeup. But I haven't made it out of the door. Nor have I managed to call my boss. I'm just sitting here petrified with watery eyes. What I want to do is go to bed. What I should do is go to work. It's grey outside and inside. 

I just can't face people. Looking, smiling, asking where I've been, or just wondering, small talk. Then the work itself. Lots, a pile, pressure, opportunity to fuck up. People to dissapoint. Jesus. 

Maybe I'll just go in at 4pm. Or 5pm when fewer people are there. That would be intense enough.i don't fucking know maybe that's just another procrastination.